Do Not Exit - part 1

The clock was ticking faintly in the background as Margaret’s eyelids fluttered open. They fluttered like the pages of the book beside her, blown open by the same breeze that rustled her hair. The air conditioning was broken in the library, and fans had been placed by librarians at strategic locations in an attempt to abate the lethargy inflicting heat. Margaret closed the book she had been reading, A Depiction of a New World Called The Blazing World, and tried to smooth down her short, brown, wind rustled hair1. She had been having a wonderful dream. Margaret had dreamt that she had been mistaken for a goddess, married a king, and subsequently been given absolute power to rule his kingdom. It was all for the betterment of humanity, of course.

Margaret was still smiling what she imagined to be her best, monarchic smile when she caught sight of the clock hanging on the library’s cream colored wall. It was 2:37 p.m. and Margaret was late for her creative writing class. She hurriedly stuffed her book into her canvas book bag, which was covered in a print of grey terriers, and darted for the exit. It just so happened that the library only had one main entrance, and it was facing the opposite direction from the communications building where Margaret’s class was held. There was a set of three “do not exit” doors in the proper direction, and one happened to be propped open, a fan positioned strategically in the doorway. Margaret made a split second decision to break the rules just this once. Besides, she considered the prospect of missing as little class as possible to be a rather noble goal, and this opinion vanquished any guilt she may have developed over breaking “do not exit” rules.

Margaret may have been fine with her rule breaking; however, the Universe was not. Unbeknownst to pretty much every being on Earth, the Universe had been monitoring the planet for years and was extremely piqued by mankind’s rude disregard for laws. In fact, at just that moment the seven Laws of Nature, composing the judicial branch of the Universe, were banging their ugly gavels, and complaining amongst themselves in protest. Margaret’s rule braking was the last straw.

“One simply must not exit a door that is clearly labeled ‘do not exit!’” A Law of Nature whined.

“Indeed, the humans have been taking this simple rule for granted these many years.”

“It must not be allowed to continue!”
The God of Literal Meaning, who was in the courtroom waiting to be tried for actually breaking someone’s leg during a play at the Divine Comedies Theater, interrupted The Laws of Nature to propose a solution.

“I propose a solution,” he began. “The sign on the door merely states that one does not exit a place through it. However, it declares nothing about the individual’s right to enter a place through it. Perhaps we can allow this girl to enter someplace through the door, as long as she doesn‘t leave any place, of course.”

The Laws of Nature thought this was a wise observation, and quickly made a ruling on how to proceed. Unfortunately for Margaret, the Laws of Nature and their divine friends are incapable of being heard on this earthly world; otherwise, she may have been saved from a lot of trouble and couple skeins of yarn. As she stepped through the “do not exit” door, she did not exit the library, but instead entered into another dimension.

The very first thing that Margaret noticed about her new location was the severe temperature change. The temperature suddenly dropped from sweltering to almost unbearably frosty. Remarkably, the gigantic, medieval looking castle that seemed to spontaneously generate before her was the second thing she noticed. It was a massive, many towered, gray stone castle. Margaret happened to be standing on a dirt path that lead to the gate of the castle’s front courtyard. The castle was surrounded by a densely wooded forest that continued in all directions as far as she could see. And yes, all directions included the space behind her that had moments before been occupied by the library building.

There didn’t seem to be any signs of life around, excluding Margaret herself. The accelerated beating of her heart, caused by the shock of suddenly being in such a strange place, was a testament to her present existence indeed. For some reason it just felt fitting for her to clutch her terrier covered bag in her arms and declare, “I don’t think I’m in Florida anymore, tote bag.” Then Margaret realized how odd it was for her to directly address her bag, but since she didn’t have a real terrier to clutch, she decided she was just making do. “I’m not going crazy,” Margaret shivered in the cold air as she tried to reassure herself, but she only half believed it. “Maybe I’m dreaming,” Margaret continued her thought process aloud, “That must be it. I dreamt that I woke up in the library and was late for class. Then my dream changed and I ended up here, wherever this place is.” Margaret decided to try to wake herself. First she pinched herself because that’s what she remembered people doing in movies. When that didn’t work, she pinched herself harder. Margaret continued to pinch herself increasingly hard, and to fail at waking up despite that. This resulted in a rather sore, pink spot on her freckled arm, and a lot of frustration. Because she wasn’t having any luck waking herself, and because she was terribly cold, Margaret decided to head for the castle. She hoped it would be warmer there.

The gate to the courtyard was open, but against the stone wall to either side stood guards. They were dressed in medieval looking, metal armor, and their hands were positioned upon the hilt of long swords that rested on ground before them. “Who approaches?” asked a guard as Margaret neared the gate. Margaret was feeling very irritated over being stuck in what she thought was a dream and she wasn’t in the mood to answer questions, so she ignored the guard and continued walking.

“Hey! Halt there! Don’t be rude.” The other guard said, “my friend here asked you a question.”

“I don’t have time for questions,” Margaret responded, “I’m cold and I can’t wakeup.”

“Oh, but you have time to be impolite, huh? Well that’s just dandy.”

“Excuse me? This is my dream and I’d appreciate it if you’d cut out the sarcasm. In fact,” said Margaret, “I could do without you entirely. This is my dream after all; shouldn’t I be able to turn you into a kitten or something, if I tried hard enough?” At this Margaret tightly closed her eyes and imagined two adorable, gray kittens in the place of the knights. Unfortunately, the scene remained unchanged when she opened her eyes once more. “Drat! Some dream this is.” Margaret whined. “I don’t get to control anything about it.”

“Did she just try to turn us into kittens?” Asked the first guard, sounding rather offended.

“I think so. You know, that’s rather offensive!” The second guard said to Margaret. He sounded rather offended too. “Maybe she’s a witch.”

“I don’t believe in witches.” The other guard said.

“Neither do I, but you never know. She seems to think she is.”

“I’m not a witch,” Margaret shivered, “I’m so cold, though.”

“Well, of course a witch would say that. Wouldn’t she?” The first guard observed.

“I’m not a witch,” Margaret rolled her eyes.

“Maybe we should take her in for questioning,” said the second guard.

“I’m not a,” Margaret began, but she stopped when she registered that last comment. “by ‘taking me in’ for questioning, would you be taking me inside?”

“Well, yeah... What else could we ‘take you in‘ to?” The first guard and the God of Literal meaning, still monitoring the scene from above, scoffed at Margaret’s question. Then Margaret and the guards headed towards the castle.

TO BE CONTINUED